Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
