when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
