You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
