If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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