Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
