Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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