I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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