i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
