my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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