I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize