he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
