he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
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He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
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I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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