my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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