Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
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