Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
