why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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