Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
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