we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
