Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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