No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
