I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
My breasts were aching with rage.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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