Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Randomize
