I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
