Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
