I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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