She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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