did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
