Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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