i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize