Everything about him screamed your future.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
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