No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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