Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
