That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
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okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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