ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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