dude i'm inner monologue high
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
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