Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Randomize