Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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