How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
