"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
