It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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