I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
