Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize
