she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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