I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
