jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
