her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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