I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
