I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize