batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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