Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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