how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
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