HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
