so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
