I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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