Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
