What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
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