I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
