apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
